18 May 2006 ;
Greater depression...
Motivation gone... Hope dashed... Greater depression... that is how i felt about today. Got back 3 paper today, which include chemistry, E-maths and my chinese paper.Haix.. what more can i say. I got 2 C5 and one B3 which is my chinese. None of the paper meets my expectation. Or maybe my expectation is too high le compared to my standard. For E-maths, there are 2 paper, to my horror, i fail one of them! but in the end with the combination of the other paper, i got 59.8. That is the first time i got so low for my e-maths, i was damn disappointed and sad. The remarks that teacher wrote in my exam paper are 'Are you really smart?' 'Stop all your rubbish' 'Stop all your bad habits' ' Your fountation is VERY bad, and you don't wish to learn.' and etc, felt very DL at that moment, i wonder is it that my teacher is biased against me or am i really that bad, I wonder...For my chemistry, i got 55 only and ranked 18 or 19 in class, quite a lot of my classmate failed the paper, there is a certain standard for the paper that only 3 of our class got A1 only! I was really damn sad on after that ler. Then the next paper is chinese, i got lots of confident in that paper, i thought i could get an A1 but that is only what i thought, it does not happened in the reality, i only got B3. i was really damn depressed a that moment le, i am going to break down soon, tears almost dropped at that moment but i hold back somehow. Felt damn depressed today that i don't talk much or sing and wish to shout as loud as i ccan. I just wears a black face today, all my friends got console me except for an ass say me attitude, then i just diao him and walk away lor...Haix.. so unlike of me to diao people. The worst is yet to come which is my English. My nightmare! aren't going to pin too much hope in it, higher hope means greater disappointement! Somehow, i lost my motivation into studying..Haix..but i have felt a bit better after a hearty crying session alone ler!
following the beat;
10:11 PM
